DIFFERENT STROKES
Sometimes I forget that my opinions can shock people, even those who know me pretty well. I suppose it's easy to think that how we see the world is the same way others view it, although reality or the truth is often exactly the opposite.
For instance the other night I was having dinner with my girlfriends, gossiping and laughing it up as always, when someone revealed how she and her husband were asked to join a porn-viewing group which meets monthly apparently. We were all taken aback, but it turns out my reasons were different from all the rest: I simply couldn't understand the thrill of watching porn with a bunch of other couples in someone else's home; you see, it's something I would choose to do only in private, either by myself or with a special someone. Yet for the others, the word "porn" itself was enough to generate shock, disbelief, and even outrage. "If he asked me to join, I'd tell him to get away from me and then I'd pour Holy Water on him," one of the girls even said.
At that moment I realized my casual nonchalance about XXX-rated films was not so normal, at least in a few of the circles I belong to. Honestly I would much prefer to spend an hour or two watching couples go at it with lust rather than pound each other with hate or violence (and, yes, there are forms of porn that are violent, destructive, and demeaning I admit and I have absolutely no taste for them). In general, XXX is just another genre to me, I suppose, one that rational adults can choose to enjoy or ignore.
Then later, as the night was winding down and only a few of us were left, I had this brilliant idea of introducing one of the guys, who was newly divorced, to a single girlfriend whom I fondly describe as "trisexual" (she'll try anything sexual). My other girlfriend was horrified -- don't do that, she said, you know how she is. But why not, I replied -- he's single, she's single, and they both don't want a commitment? (I then turned to the guy and asked him if was looking for a committed relationship. "Hell no!" he replied almost violently.)
So I turned back to my friend and continued to make my case. "And besides, she's a lot of fun, she makes us all laugh and they might even get along." By now, the guy was intrigued.
"So what," my friend asked, "You think they should get together only for sex?"
"I'm not saying that, but if they do so, that's their choice -- they're both consenting adults after all."
"Ay naku, why even go there, it would only make things complicated!"
"Sex isn't complicated, it's relationships that often are."
And then the room suddenly became quiet as three sets of eyes peered at me curiously. I should really learn how to keep some of my thoughts to myself, especially when I'm sleepy and my mental brakes are slow in halting the words running away from my mouth like a freight train derailed from its tracks.
Good thing for me, too, that my Holy-Water-toting friend had already gone home; she would have given me one shocking cold, damp wake-up call otherwise. I don't know if I would have deserved it, though -- just because I see things a certain way doesn't mean I advocate that others do the same. And really now, I certainly would never invite friends to get together and watch porn or offer a man a purely sexual relationship.
Although I have absolutely no qualms if other people do. There's always the option of saying "No thank you," after all.





I've known you for so long that none of your comments or opinions really shock me. I find it funny when you surprise others:)
Posted by: Julianne | November 13, 2006 at 03:03 PM
Hi Julianne - I, too, find it funny when I shock people with my words. I really, honestly don't think my ideas are so "out there" -- but I guess it just depends how far left or right I happen to be relative to whomever it is I happen to be speaking with. One of the things I appreciate most about you is that although you and I are on opposite ends of the political/religious spectrum, it never feels like I am when I'm talking to you. You simply respect wherever it is I'm coming from. I suppose, in that sense, you and I are alike.:)
Posted by: Gigi | November 13, 2006 at 03:34 PM
two things:
1. all of a sudden the "blue" in blueeagle is striking (as opposed to "beating"?) a different tone than it normally does
2. the pioneering soul that you are, have you considered being a porn critic?
:-)
Posted by: BlueEagle | November 13, 2006 at 09:18 PM
BlueEagle - Haha, I'm actually reading a book about women working in the porn industry (not just actresses, but "behind-the-scenes", retail industry, and -- yes -- even a critic. One thing's for sure: none of them complain their jobs are ever boring! :)
Posted by: Gigi | November 15, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Hm, tried to set up two people once and it backfired. Never again.
Posted by: Cathy | November 17, 2006 at 05:31 AM