DIPPING A TOE INTO THE GENE POOL

One of my few regrets is that I don't know much (or really anything) about both sets of my grandparents -- who all lived to their '90s if I recall correctly. And I know even less about my great-grandparents, and nothing about anyone who lived before them.

It's my fault really, I simply wasn't interested then, at least when they were alive. All I know was that my paternal lola was the daughter of a wealthy man who ended up marrying a Tagalog poet/educator (the son of a tailor?) and worked to support her family of eight children by selling fish in the market until their lives became more comfortable. Dad said she was also frugal, a trait I clearly didn't inherit but which my younger sister Tina has displayed all her life without being taught how. Her husband, my dad's father, wrote beautiful poetry I never read until after he had passed away. I only found out two years ago -- by googling -- that he was one of the two men who translated the Philippine National Anthem into what was proclaimed the official Filipino version in 1956.

But this is all I remember about them. My lolo frowned his disapproval whenever I'd speak Taglish (mixing Tagalog and English in the same sentences) in his presence; he insisted we speak either one language or the other, it didn't matter which one as long as we did so fluently. He also used to show me his impressive collection of rare books and coins and always gave me boxes of Serge's chocolate bars whenever I'd visit him (which was maybe once or twice a year). I remember lola sitting down mostly, usually quiet and looking stern, and later it seemed she never left her bed when she became quite sick. My only vivid recollection was of her telling me not to eat so much chicken and pork adobo, which I loved so much as I child (and is still my main comfort food today).

I know just as little about my mom's side of the family. My grandfather was a civil defense administrator during WWII (which I didn't know either until the day he was buried); mom said that he would turn on a siren to warn folks whenever bombs were about to dropped by the Japanese but now I'm curious if he was actually the guy who switched it on or if she was just speaking figuratively. She also doesn't seem to know anything about his side of the family except that maybe he came from Pangasinan. To this day I simply assume that anyone with his surname is a cousin of mine and no one ever seems to argue with me about it.

My grandmother was the daughter of a former governor of Tarlac and the youngest sister of a famous Filipino diplomat and writer (National Artist for Literature, winner of Pulitzer Prize for international journalism), among many other things. But it quite bothers me I don't know grandma for simply who she was and not for her birth connections. She was smart and strict, and I suspect that one of the things she took with her to her grave was a remarkable life story.

But instead this is what I remember. Grandpa loved his Lions Club International, of which he was pretty active in, until the day he died, and he had a pen collection he kept in a huge armoire in his room. He smiled a lot but I don't ever remember him hugging me; still he liked to give me a pen whenever I'd visit (might have been branded with the Lions Club International seal).

My grandma once tried to cut my toenails with a pair of scissors (I later told mom that her mother tried to torture me) and she didn't know how to cook (so she couldn't teach her daughter how to either). But whenever mom would drop me off at her house when she didn't know what to do with me, grandma and I would sit outside on her patio, she would bring out her dictionary, open a page and point to a word and ask me to spell it. We did this for hours. I also remember that one of her pet peeves was the word (or non-word as she repeatedly insisted) inflammable and made me promise never to use it (I don't).

When I was growing up, mom used to repeatedly tell me how lucky I was that she wouldn't make me go to the market or practice on the piano the way grandma would order her to do when she was my age. Or choose my boyfriends the way grandma weeded out her suitors. (She tried so very hard to get rid of my father; later dad would gloat about how he was her favorite. She would smile but I never quite saw her agree.)

And that is about the extent of what I know about the people who gave birth to my parents, whose combined gene pools I come from. This is pathetic, especially because I have no one else to blame for my ignorance except myself. I'd like to tell my two nieces -- both American-born and raised -- about their Filipino side of the family especially because they barely know their grandparents who live in the Philippines, who are both pretty amazing individuals. As their parents were, I'm sure, but I just don't know how or how much.

I'd like to find out how lolo found inspiration to write, and if lola believed her sacrifices were worth the choices she'd made. I would want to know what my grandpa aspired for and if he was happy, and what my grandma believed in passionately. But I don't think I'll ever know -- heck, at this point I'd be thankful to find out what their favorite foods were or what made them laugh. Somewhere inside me they reside, they live on in perhaps a facial feature, a look, a frown, a love for books and writing, my disposition -- but I'll never know. So I'll find out as much as I can (calling all my cousins -- if you know anything, pass it on). I think I owe their lives -- which I missed out on -- at least that much.

Comments

[Jovs]

Old folks usually like telling stories, especially stories of their lives. Most of our grandparents have lived during the times of war or just worlds so much in contrast with how we are living now. It's a pity when we don't get to record or know of their experiences and what they have gone through. Perhaps you could ask your parents to tell you tidbits of stories, anything they know about your grandparents. =)

My paternal grandfather is in his 90s now, and he loves telling stories. He remembers dates and events clearly, he remembers the Japanese occupation of the Philippines, etc. He tells me so many things, facts and events, and his thoughts, things he saw. I've started writing down these things, as told from the viewpoint of someone who has lived in that age. I wanted to have keep his oral record - oral history, which I'll probably start the next time I go back home.

Good luck in your quest to know more about your ancestors! =)

[bugsybee]

I used to ask a lot of questions and would nag old folks to tell me stories about our family. Of course, they would oblige but after two or three more requests, they'd shoo me away. As I grew older, I became more shy about requesting for stories. I regret that. I should have persevered so I could have known my ancestors better. Now, most of the old folks are dead so it'll be harder to search for my roots.

I hope you'll be able to gather more about yours. You can write about them, perhaps even publish a book about your family. That certainly would be a book I'd look forward to reading (I loved Alex Haley's Roots!).

Good luck, Gigi!

[Anna]

You can keep track of your family tree info online. There are several sites that provide this service free, the one we use is tribalpages.com. I finally had to pay to upgrade it, though, when I realized it did not provide a backup for the free service, and I was limited to 50 photos and only 5 generations. Now I can post up to 1000 photos and I think I can go to 7 levels of ancestors. We're definitely going to need it.

The Pisons have quite an extensive family tree, and like you, I know less than I should but probably more than most do about their ancestry.

[joe]

Would love to finally see this family tree that you are about to embark on. If only for the benefit of your nieces here but also for your distinguished lineage or roots. This blog tells me you are indeed one hell of a writer/blogger and it would sadden me if you cannot find the heart to organize your family tree. Your legacy ... i hope so. Goodluck Gigi. Keep blogging!

[Gigi]

Hi Jovs - Fortunately I have cousins who actually lived with my grandparents. So even if my parents can't remember as much as they used to, there are still people I can ask. I don't know why I was so scared of them -- I'm sure they would have been willing to tell me stories, had I only asked.

Bugsy - Thanks! It's so funny how the best sources of stories are usually right there. An important lesson I learned too late.

Anna - thank for the info! My dad's maternal side of the family has been charted, thanks to the efforts of a couple of distant cousins. Unfortunately I can't find anything on lolo's side or on anyone on mom's side (although I have seen the family tree of my grandma's mother).

Joe - Thank you -- that's so sweet of you to say. :)