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  • ADVENTURES WITH A (DYING) DOG

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    This one made me weepy this morning. Girl finds out her bestfriend and roommate -- a 160-lb English Mastiff has terminal bone cancer and only has a few months to live. So armed with a bucket list of adventures she would like to share with her dog, they go off on canoe rides, road trips, visits to both busy spots and quiet spaces and, finally, spend a last day together by the ocean in Maine, where she finally finds peace and acceptance. This is real love, people.
  • THE HEALING POWERS OF KEEPING A JOURNAL

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    I still keep a journal despite having a blog. No matter how spill-all-my-guts-out open I may seem, there are many things I do and think that I'll just never tell. I've always thought it kept me sane to be able to express myself without fear of being censored or criticized. Whenever I pick up an old journal, even one from my 13-year-old self I realize that as much as I've changed so much is still the same. I just know how to dodge bullets faster and better. From: HUFFPOST Healthy Living, 01/20/15
  • WRITING YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS

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    Which is why I've decided to keep this blog around, at least for a little while longer. I've always picked up a pen (or sat in front of a keyboard) any time I needed to make sense of my world; writing allows me to get into my head and get all my thoughts out without having to worry about how ridiculous I sound (that's where the editing comes in). From: The New York Times, 01/19/15
  • HOW TO BECOME A WRITER
    This was lovely. The post is by a novelist who was asked how to encourage a young writer. It sounds eerily like the story of my life -- now all I need is to keep reading and keep writing (and, okay, start submitting). From: M Molly Backes' blog, 07/12/11
  • THE "PERFECT" FEMALE BODY

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    Every day at work I see all kinds of female bodies: athletic, boyish, curvy, voluptuous, natural, enhanced, preteen, post-baby, postmenopausal -- thousands of different bodies I've seen up close and personal in my lifetime. This infographic shows that the description of the ideal female body changes every decade or so, going back hundreds of years. I hope that soon we define the "perfect" body as one that is simply healthy and functioning; that what matters is that we're comfortable in our own skin. From: Greatist, 01/15/15

GOODREADS

  • READING NOW

    Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
    The Normal Bar: Where Does Your Relationship Fall?
    All is Forgotten, Nothing is Lost
    Gun Dealers' Daughter: A Novel: A Novel
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    The Undomestic Goddess
    Self-Help
    The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World


    Gigi's favorite books »
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November 18, 2005

Comments

Anna

I dread the day when I have to explain to my kids. I vaguely remember how my mom told me - I think I was about 8 or 9 years old, and was reading a book or doing something when she interrupted me, saying she needed to talk to me. She led me to the living room and we sat on the couch, then she showed me a magazine that had a diagram of a woman's reproductive system (I think she chanced upon the article and decided to take advantage of it right then and there), and then proceeded to explain how it happened. Unfortunately, I was so engrossed in what I had been doing before and rather irked about being taken away from my pastime that I did not pay attention. I simply nodded every now and then and made appropriate "uh-huh" noises, and she never noticed the distant, glazed look in my eyes. At the end of the lecture she asked if I had any questions, to which I replied with a mute shake of the head and then went back to whatever I had been doing. None of what she told me registered; I eventually learned the how-to, I'm not sure how long after that talk, when I chanced upon a story in a magazine with explicit descriptions. I was horrified, then it dawned on me - THAT was what my mom had tried to tell me that day! I never did tell her that her lecture went in one ear and out the other, I was too embarrassed when I finally figured it out, and she never again approached me about the subject. My self-education progressed over the years via more books and magazines, and particularly helpful was the book "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask" (I found that on my dad's shelf.) I think what I learned from that experience is that it's best to wait for your kids to broach the subject, because then you know for sure they'll be listening!

Yey

I don't remember how I talked to my daughter about how babies are made, but by the time she was in high school, I know that she knew everything - mostly because of the sex education classes she received in middle school. It's not that I fear talking to her about such things - in fact, I'm very open with her, and if you believe her, she would say that I'm WAAAAAAAY to open. One time she and her friends tried to goad me into talking to them about sex. I think we were watching a movie at home, and just to make sure, I paused the movie and asked them if they really knew and understood about how babies are made. To the goading, I asked my daughter if she was sure she wanted me to discuss such things with her friends present, and she immediately backed off.

I find it hilarious since my mom could hardly talk to us about such things. And because she grew up in a double-standard world, she tried to convince me, even after I'd had my daughter, that only males enjoy sex. I couldn't help myself asking her, "So, Papa wasn't good in bed? Coz if you didn't enjoy...." Of course, she retorted, "Your Papa was very good in bed!" My aunt, overhearing our exchange, immediately spoke up and said, "And what would be your point of comparison?"

Anna, when and if the time comes, send your kids to me. Hehehe! Although I'm sure that you wouldn't really have a problem in that arena!

John

Can't parents just send their kids to their room when asked this question? That's my plan, at least.

Madmuse

I was a sick little kid. For some reason, by the time I was in 3rd grade, I had figured it out. One day, I asked me sis-in-law how babies were made. She explained that when a man and woman have "contact," then a baby is made. That got my mind investigating. "How was this contact done?" It just so happened too that my mom and dad would never hesitate to go au naturel in front of us when they got changed. My dirty little mind somehow figured it out. I don't remember how. In my case, I was that girl who grossed out some schoolmates. I had drawn on the board what my theory was about how babies are made. I think I scarred them for life. LOL!

Gigi

Hi Anna, Yey, and John - I think, for the sake of the children, the best thing is for ME to do the talking. :)

Hi Madmuse - You gave them a visual??? In 3rd grade??? Yikes! Maybe YOU should talk to Anna and John's kids instead. You've obviously had practice :)

Yey

Gi, seriously now, there's a children's book that explains it all, I just can't remember the title. The next time I go to a bookstore, I'll look for it and let you know. Anna, haven't you seen that book?

But hey, I think I've done a good job explaining not just to my daughter, but to my nieces and nephews, as well. Don't get me wrong, though - I surely don't mind relinquishing that duty to someone else.

schatzli

opps I wouldnt know how to explain but i did learn such thing when I was in HS.

But now here in Greece am the one giving the lessons to the Filipino youngsters here... too many unwanted pregnancies. Some mothers dont talk to them about this and the irony is they, the youth spend their time at pastoral group doing the virgin mary things then do nooky businesses after....with out much knowledge of sex.

schatzli

opps I wouldnt know how to explain but i did learn such thing when I was in HS.

But now here in Greece am the one giving the lessons to the Filipino youngsters here... too many unwanted pregnancies. Some mothers dont talk to them about this and the irony is they, the youth spend their time at pastoral group doing the virgin mary things then do nooky businesses after....with out much knowledge of sex.

John

On second thought, maybe someone should explain this thing to me also. I'm not entirely sure I have a good grasp of what the whole thing is about.

Madmuse

Gigi, well I didn't draw a whole porn image. It was more like stick figures with lines and circles and arrows...LOL! My friends probably went to their parents and told them what I had said. Hmmm, that's probably why they stayed away from me afterwards! Hahah!

joyce

hi gigi!
my daughter, being very resourceful, got hold of a book when she was 8. the book had beautiful illustrations of how a baby develops in the mother's womb. it also had a discussion for parents on how to tell their kids about the birds and the bees...buti na lang! so therefore, she didn't have to ask me =)

Gigi

Hi Yey - They even have audiobooks for this stuff! All this "help" available and yet it's still never easy. :)

Hello Schatzli - Ain't that the truth? Usually it's because girls are uninformed that "accidents" happen.I know there are still many people who would disagree with me on this -- but I believe it's not enough to tell teens "don't do it," period. Because if (when) they do, if they don't know anything else, there's bound to be trouble.

Hi John - OK. Where do I begin? :)

Hello MadMuse - I don't know if you've ever seen that website with the stick figures who commit all kinds of violent acts. Anyway, thanks to you, now I have images of them doin' a whole lot of lovin'!

Hi Joyce - Bless your daughter's heart! You are one lucky mom. :)

paul

I appreciate this topic peepz. While browsing, I happen to encounter this site. Thanks for the owner.

Sooner I might be rearing my daughter alone. It seems what I wanted for a family wont be materialized. So, right now, am already preparing for how would I lead my daughter into a nearly perfect manner. I suppose her mom is to be the best parent to relate to her about her questions on her sexuality, but things may not happen that way. I have in mind, of having my girl-cousin to answer her would-be questions, but for sure under my supervision. If I do not let her know the facts about her sexuality, she might turn into asking her friends or classmates. This might lead into a dilemma. On the other hand, if I let her know everything about sexuality, she might get curious and explore the beyond.

When I was on the puberty stage, little did I know about this topic. And the result? Lesser curiosity. Blessing that I never had so much enthusiasm on experiencing such act. The little knowledge I had, the lesser curiosity it took me. And instead on focusing so much time about it, my mind was rather focused on my studies. Thus, having good grades! Lesser knowledge of it, did not diminish my person, nor my masculinity. But, more that I appreciated life and its values.

My gratitude to the books which taught me sexual functions. Thanks also for the religious books, which led me on how to carry this “energy” in the right way. In turn, respect of oneself and of others.

I must be on guard and determine the better ways when time comes. Things I experienced might be different from that of the adolescents’ nowadays. If my daughter would know less, will she get more curious? Or the more that she would most get curious when she knows a lot? That I could not predict. But there is one thing I am sure of, that I must be a bestfriend to her. So that when questions arise, she would come to me and be open. I would be the immediate source she could ask from. If I find it improper to answer, I will refer her to her tita, my cousin. In this way, I could prevent her from gathering information from friends and classmates. If she would receive the knowledge from us, she would receive it with proper guidance and moral values.

Having children is the best experience in the world. All of us dream the best for our children. God bless all the children and the parents. May He bless especially the good parents! Good parents rear the good leaders in our society.

I urge you to visit this site, www.xanga.com/polzki. In here I posted the very best speech I encountered about having a daughter. “If I had a daughter” by Vidal Tan (UP professor), delivered before the UP women’s organization.

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  • IMMORTAL PERFUMES

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    Immortal Perfumes is a Seattle-based micro-perfumery specializing in historically inspired, handmade perfumes. All perfume blends are original recipes made from a mix of jojoba, essential and fragrance oils. None of the oils used in this shop are derived from animals. Every bottle is handmade by JT Siems in her Seattle studio. I'm already in love with the fragrance inspired and named after Duchess Georgiana Cavendish. Notes: Black Tea, Lavender, Jasmine, Amber, Bergamot. Read her story here. #6mosnoshopping