FLY LIKE SHEEP

The only thing I don't like about traveling is the traveling part itself. OK, I know that sounds strange so let me explain. See, I love visiting new places and observing how the locals live, but I just don't like any portion of the trip that involves an airport or an airplane.

I don't like having to put my liquid-based toiletries in little plastic bags or taking off my shoes before I walk through some security doorway only to get frisked by a woman in a uniform. I don't appreciate having to answer what I plan to do in town or what I did while I was away or especially whether or not I didn't just try to sneak in some longganiza in my suitcase. I don't want to worry about how much my bags weigh (and pay the hefty excess baggage charge in case I miscalculated) and especially what to do in case they get lost. And I don't care to deal with smelly feet or crying babies (with profuse apologies to all harassed parents out there) while I'm trying to get some sleep or quietly read my book.

I'm irritated by bad cabin service and for the life of me cannot figure out why the flight attendants on Japan Airlines and Cathay Pacific take much better care of their coach passengers than American (AA) does of their Business Class travelers. I'm especially perplexed as to why I'm sweating in seat 11D on the way to Manila and then am in arctic city while in the exact same seat on the exact same plane while returning home. I want to kill the passenger planted in the window seat in the same row who insists on opening the shade when it's supposed to be snooze time for all and doesn't care if the sharp ray of blinding white light that subsequently shoots through directly hits my pupils while I'm trying to get some shut-eye.

At the Ninoy Aquino International Airport in Manila, the Travel Tax folks really need to automate their payment process already. And at the Los Angeles International Airport, the Immigration folks really need to be more polite to their international visitors instead of assuming each one is a criminal or a terrorist until proven otherwise.

I suppose what truly irritates me about this inevitable part of the travel process is how from the moment one enters the airport one already feels that there's a possibility of being dragged to an interrogation room if any step is performed incorrectly or if any action is judged as suspect. It's like we're all just part of this huge herd of sheep and if one of us isn't good enough then we need to be immediately separated from the rest.

And going back to that woman who frisks me while I'm standing in my bare feet -- why do I always feel like I have to suck in my gut for fear of being judged (and mocked) for having one bump too many on my body? And the worst part is that I ALWAYS do, I always suck it up and suck it in.

Baaahh.

Comments

[Em Dy]

The travel tax counter should really go through major changes. When I paid for travel tax last August, the lady in the middle thought I was getting ahead of everyone else. I only thought that each staff manning the counter does all the transactions. It turns out that you have to pass through everybody - one gets the documents, one releases it, another accepts money, etc. Why can't it all be done by just 1 person, like how it is with banks. The problem was there were no instructions on how to go with the flow. And they seem to have mastered the art of looking busy and not looking people in the eye.

[K]

"And at the Los Angeles International Airport, the Immigration folks really need to be more polite to their international visitors instead of assuming each one is a criminal or a terrorist until proven otherwise."

I thought I'd only seen those in the movie, totoo pala. And another observation, filling up the forms from the Plane before touchdown, isn't that so annoying?

[Cathy]

hey g! i can relate totally :) the LAX needs to be renovated and overhauled actually. it was my first time to use this airport as a port of entry and in ten years nothing much has changed. SFO is way much better :)

[Gigi]

Em Dy - Hear, hear! And I have to say, I felt my eyes roll over to the back of my head when I saw them using those duplicate receipt books to record transactions! You would figure that with all that tax money they collect, they could at least buy a few computers!

K - I think we've all heard horror stories about how awful many of our kababayans have been treated at various US ports of entry by now. I wonder if it's some explicit post-911 directive or if they're just taking advantage of the situation so they can scare people half to death?

Cathy - Here's a "secret," though: if you fly AA you don't have to deal with Tom Bradley Intl. Then on the other hand, you have to deal with AA naman! Hay naku...

[Paul]

European border checkpoints are far more relaxed compared to what I've been hearing of their US counterparts, although their security screening procedures are just as strict.

[Gigi]

Paul - I can believe that!

[Allen O]

Hi Gigi,

We'll be in AA to Japan biz class(thanx to ccard miles)and JAL to MNL next month. I just want a wider seat for my big butt. Last June, we went from SFO to Cebu on Cathay. That wasnt too bad except it was coach. But Cebu airport was much nicer than MNL. But I guess that wont help you so much since you're a Manila Girl.

Allen

[Gigi]

Biz Class on AA is really just that: a wider seat, more room to stretch your legs. And maybe -- maybe -- slightly better food. But if you try to ask the flight attendants for anything, they'll just tell you where to go get it. At least that's been my experience.

Cathay Biz Class and JAL Biz Class -- well, now that's flying! I have no idea what kind of treatment their First Class passengers get, but I'd imagine they truly feel like they're above the clouds, in heaven. :)

PS: Have fun next month! (What a stupid thing to say -- OF COURSE you will!!!)