My brother-in-law flew into town yesterday and decided to spend the night at our place."Give me 10 minutes," I told him. "I just need to put some stuff away in the (guest) room."
Which really meant that I needed to put shoes back into the closet so we could make room for him. Not an easy task at the moment. Because I'm fastidious about caring for my shoes and would never ever think of tossing my footwear into a heap, boxes are literally spilling out of every nook and cranny . See, each pair goes inside its own box, each labeled with a brief description (brand, style, color). Right now there are five columns of boxes filling half the closet, each about 20 rows high. I need a stepladder just to get to anything on the top rows -- which isn't as much of a problem as how to get to the boxes stacked at the bottom, if you think about it.
Outside the closet door is another five columns of the same, around eight boxes high, which will never join their siblings inside because there's simply no more room for them. If I stack any more, I'll no longer be able to reach the handle and slide open the closet door. Which explains why I had more boxes stacked by the stereo -- which I now had to find room for so that our houseguest wouldn't feel like he was drowning in shoes, or at least think that he was being forced to sleep inside a shoe stockroom.
As I was sitting on the floor gently contemplating my task at hand, trying to use my basic knowledge of high school geometry so that I could figure out how I could fit more boxes into zero space, my husband walked in to see what I was up to. I hate it when he does that, because it never ends up well.
He: What's taking you so long? L's falling asleep on the couch already.
Me: (Mumbles incoherently on purpose.)
He: Do you have more shoes now??? (Slides open the closet door. I hate it when he does that, too, because I know he'll freak out when he sees boxes all the way up to the ceiling. But I can't stop him.) WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY???
Me: (Putting on calm, rational face.) I take care of my shoes really well. I have so many pairs that I got way before I even met you and they still look like I just got them yesterday.
He: But why is it that when we moved in here there was enough room for them inside the closet and now there isn't?
Me: (Moment of panicked silence.)
He: Did you take any shoe boxes from the garage? Or from inside the hall closet?
Me: (Taking the Fifth.)
He: I can't believe we're running out of space because of...shoes! (Makes an exasperated sound and then walks away while making grunting noises.)
Hmmm. Maybe he won't notice then if I get these, after all then. I mean, would anyone notice if one more book was added to the New York Public Library? In the meantime I think I need to brush up on my geometry -- because if I don't, my husband may force me to use simple arithmetic and learn how to subtract a pair before I add another.
Gigi, will you kill me if I say I only have 55 pairs of shoes? And there are so many of them I haven't used! I have sworn not to buy another pair until I throw a pair into the Garage Sale Box (which by the way is my children's dreaded phrase.) Before their birthdays, I ask that they get rid of some toys to make way for new ones. It has gotten so spare (in their opinion) that finding things to give away is like pulling teeth -- and I imagine that's what you feel exactly.
But A has a point -- and I'm not letting this raindrop fall into his corner but I think you can wear a pair a day for a year without having to repeat. That's a lot of square feet spent on feet! I wish I wore your size!!!!!
Anyway, you'd think with the rule stated above we'd have a neater house???? Can't figure it out.
Posted by: Besfren | August 25, 2009 at 03:13 AM
Let me know what size you wear now -- I have a few tall stacks of lovely, pristine-looking pairs (some which cost me a pretty penny to boot) outside in the garage. None of them fit me anymore. The reason I still keep them is because I keep thinking I'll sell them on eBay or bring them to a consignment store someday (which hasn't happened in 7 years). I guess you can call them "vintage" -- but they look almost brand-new. Anyway, I'll bring home for you whatever fits you so let me know!
PS: And A will thank you, I'm sure. :)
Posted by: Gigi | August 25, 2009 at 09:54 AM